For Now, I Will Leave You With This...

 Dear Mom, I hope you are reading this somewhere and heard me whisper "Happy Birthday, Mom" to you today. We are alike in that neither of us is a big birthday person, but nonetheless, it's nice to hear it. I am mostly secure with the idea that your soul is at rest, that you are content, that you are whole, that you are your most perfect self.   I wish I could say the same for me.  All the anniversaries related to you and dad continue to have profound of effect on all of us. No wonder I fall into a spring funk every year. Thankfully, these day aren't nearly as crushing as they were in the first years after you left. Those were super hard times, but given that I had a young, active family to attend to, I didn't have the time dwell.  I had to keep going.  I wonder now if I actually properly grieved your loss?  And how would I know if I did?  There isn't a standard rule book for Mother Grieving that gives a line item punch list.   Mom, I think it might be time for