Just DO it

    Pro Tip: If you think even for a minute that you might need to apologize, you probably do and should. Today I had to do just that. 

    Over the past two years I have had the pleasure of working closely with a pretty amazing person. When I say closely, I mean that literally. Our relationship began as a result of logistics. Though we do not share the same job responsibilities, we were both in need of office space and got thrown together in a less-than-perfect arrangement. It’s a little cozy.  She works with kids and I mainly work with teachers, but we both are overly passionate about of our love of literacy, especially when it comes to instruction and how it impacts kids. I can’t think of a time that we weren’t aligned in our thinking or interested in hearing more. Our professional, courteous relationship quickly evolved into that of  trusted colleagues. She’s is someone who I can absolutely bounce off ideas without judgement and who I rely on to give me critical, honest feedback. Today I call her friend.   

    I clearly remember when we crossed the bridge into Friendshipland.  The day started as always, with me settling into my workday with idle chitchat. She participated, but ever so differently. Something was off. I looked up and right then saw a certain look on her face. I knew that look. That certain look once crossed my face, too. And unless you experienced the emotions that go with that face, you have no idea what I am talking about. But if you have, you’d recognize it immediately. In the eyes. 

    So I asked a simple question that I had no business asking but felt compelled to do. She answered in the affirmative as a knew she would.. I shared a few things and then listened and listened. The surface cracked and words were released like a powerful stream of lava; steady and determined to be heard. Shared histories have a way of binding people, a way of making one feel less like a weirdo. Knowing that somebody walked in your shoes and survived is a relief from despair.  Hope reigns. 

    Anyway, let me get back to the apology part. In our teeny tiny office we have been making an effort to reduce negative talk and let’s just say that yesterday I didn’t exactly do a stellar job of that. I caught my colleague up in a snippy conversation and didn’t listen to her feedback THAT I ASKED FOR! It wasn’t that big of a deal, but still was jerky.  I thought about this for more than a minute.

     Today, I straight up apologized without excusing and she graciously accepted with out diminishing it. (Clue #2 that it was warranted.)  I firmly believe that ability to apologize for the little things as much as the big things is what makes or breaks all relationship and prevents the little things from becoming big things. (Did you follow all that?)  Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t come easy for many and is one of those behaviors that you have to practice and make an effort to do. Those two words really do have the power to make things right in the world.  I wonder what it would be like if more people used them?