Do Unto Yourself as You Do Unto Others

I'm a Enneagram 6w7.  If you know anything about us 6w7's we are a loyal bunch, a responsible bunch, but also a beat-ourselves-up-for-perceived-failures bunch.  We love the idea of a long-term commitment, but are fearful that we won't measure up and take it hard when we don't. This was my story for most of life.  Many of the choices I made were so people pleasing in nature, that they were a detriment to my own well being. Like bad. Everyone was served, but me.  Barf. 

Well a few years back, I changed my thinking on all that nonsense.  I can't explain it, but one day I woke up different. It was as if a switch was flipped and I could feel it deep within my bones that my worth no longer depended the values of others. I didn't have to agree with what others had decided was the measure of success or failure. Who got to write that score card anyway? Who were these people that I was desperately aiming to please? Not one single name comes to mind. 

Fast forward to this week. The idea of taking on Slice of Life Daily challenge was refreshing and inspiring.  I'm the kind of person that once I get into a task, I can sink into it for hours, so the work part didn't scare me.  The EVERY day for 30 days part did.  (6w7)

Thursday was another icky day that did not end well.  I arrived home drained and defeated and I couldn't shake it which is so odd and unlike me.  Technically, if I were following the rules, I should have written a blog post. I had to decide...am I going to crack open a device and try to create something or did I my soul need something quite the opposite?  I went ahead honored what I needed; rest, soft music, a pillow, my memory foam mattress.  Honestly, I was tempted, but forcing my weary self to write at the hour would have been cruel.  But I have to tell you that the old me would have done just that. I would have irrationally convinced myself that there was someone out there checking a box and keeping score. Worse, I would have told myself that I was weak or a quitter. How sad is that?  I am none of those.

I love these gifts of truths that are coming my way as I mature and age. I love that there is no substitute for the wisdom I have received for my years of life experiences. I love that I am much more comfortable in my own brain. And I love knowing that I will continue to give myself all the grace I need over the next 26 days.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 6, 2021 at 9:52 AM

    Diane, I'm so glad you posted this thoughtful, reflective blog. As a fellow Enneagram 6 and a recovering people pleaser myself, I identified with so much of what you shared. I'm glad you listened to your body, mind, and spirit, fighting the urge to force yourself to write.

    The line that struck me the most was, "Worse, I would have told myself that I was weak or a quitter. How sad is that? I am none of those." You crafted a piece of relatable and resonating inner dialogue so many of us have experienced.

    Learning to quiet the gremlins in our heads that try to convince us we're not enough is the battle of a lifetime. Keep offering yourself grace and know you have fellow slicers and colleagues who will keep showing up to read what you have to share.

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  2. MMarch 6, 2021 at 5:55 PM

    "I am none of those." Indeed you are not. You are so many, many good and wonderful things. Thank you for sharing yourself in this vulnerable way. I now know you better which can only make our journey together better, and I have more hope for myself that I can evolve to be "comfortable in my own brain" as you have.

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